Andromaque
by Charming Roses
Summary: combine a soap opera and an ancient story and one gets...


Title: Andromaque 

**  
Author: **Charming Roses (a.k.a. Kay & Rose)  
**E-mail:** little()charming()rose(at)hotmail(dot)com  
**User ID:** 698241  
**Summary:** One takes: a French professor, who loves her occational soap-opera, an old french writer who wrote this play, French literature history, this diagram we made during that cass. One forgets about it for about a year, has this big test about literature history, looks though all ones notes and sees it again. One has a good laugh about it with ones co-writer and the one decides to turn it into a fanfic. One then has ones final exmans, so doesn't has time for it, but vacation arrives and one finally writes it and posts it. (For the people who are still with us, a short summary: Mattie's doing her French Lit. Homework, and Harm's confusing it with a soap.)  
**Disclaimer:** Sue? Us? Nope sorry, our names are Kay & Rose. Apperantly you've got the wrong persons. BTW, 'Sue' sounds a little one-ish (as in: one person) and, believe it or not (Yes Yaron, you too.) we're two persons.. (two-ish.. :P) (Two, Yaron, two! One, two. If you still don't get it, ask Vered to explain the consept of two different persons to you.. :P)  
**Spoilers:** At least everything until 'A Girls Best Friend'  
**Genre:** Humor.  
**Rating: **  
**Pairings:** None.  
**Timeline:** The Sunday before Chapter 2 of 'We Don't Know A Title Yet.'  
**Archive:** our homepage. If you want to put it somewhere else, just ask us. R: 'Cause we want visiting rights. And every other weekend it's gotta stay with us. - K: Uh, are you sure you have the right text in front of you? - R: Yeah, absolutely. Why? - K: Hm..? Oh, no reason... erm..  
**Feedback:** Everything but flames very much wanted.We love posi-feedback. Thinking positive earns you at least one point.. Erm, sorry channeling Kay's dad... :P  
**Dedication:** We're dedicating this story to Witchy V (a.k.a. Vered), BRSY (a.k.a. Yaron), Shrek (a.k.a. Kare), Squid (a.k.a. Martha), Pat, Peps, Michi, Hannah, Lily, Sissle, Stine, Caro, Lnrd, Alix, Chatchu, Flygirl and all the other crazy people on the 'JAGVids Yahoo! Group' & the Tikihut; because this story is slightly crazy, we were in one of our more insane moods (yes, they exsist) when writing this, and most people there are at least slightly disturbed :P And because of the timing of the writing, special very special thanks to Jarhead (a.k.a. Nutz) You're the best.  
**A/N:** R: Who wrote it again? - K: Racine - R: Oh, right, I knew that. - K: Sure. - R: I did! Raisin.. I knew that. - K: Uhuh...

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_Sunday  
11 January 2004  
1730 Local time  
2812 M Street  
Appartment 4: Harm's appartment  
North of Union Station  
Washington D.C. _

"I'm sorry Harm, I can't cook dinner, I've got a whole bunch of homework to do."

"Mats, can't you do it _after_ dinner?" Harm whined.

"Nope. It's Math, French literature _and_ Biology," Mattie explained with a 'duh' clearly audiable in her voice.

"But Mats, it's Sunday. And I can't ask Jen to help me, because she's still out with her friends."

"The more reason to finish my homework," Mattie reasoned.

"Ah, please Mats..." Harm continued, but Mattie stayed standing her ground. "Spoilsport." Harm mumbled.

"I heard you! And just to clarify things; aren't we supposed to do this the other way around? You being the stern parent and I the rebellious teenager-who-doesn't-wants-to-do-her-homework?" Mattie said as she walked to her bedroomdoor.

Harm chuckled. "Yeah, I guess. I'll go make our dinner now. If you finish before it's done, could you please come help me?" Harm asked with puppydog-eyes.

"Yes, I will. Now would you let me do my homework?" Mattie answered with a sigh.

Harm didn't answer, but just went to his apartment. There he didn't start making dinner right away, but decided to get his case prepared. A guy named Coön decided that getting revenge on someone he knew from college and was serving on board of a carrier was a good idea. And now it was up to Harm and Mac to defend him the best as they could.

'Although the guy is as guilty as hell.' Harm thought. 'And he has a really bad name too. Must be a childhood-trauma. I mean, come on, 'Coön' is bad as it is, but 'Gilfried Coön'. Almost as bad as Clayton Webb! Oh, hmmm... where did that suddenly come from?' Harms thoughts went on and on. 'Because he is with your Marine of course. Wait a minute... _my_ Marine? When did that happen? When did I start to think of her as _mine_? The second you met. I did? Yes, naturally. Wait, this is getting confusing. I shouldn't keep having conversations in my own head. But where else can you think than in your own head? Good question... This is getting ridiculous. Rabb, cut the crap and focus on the case. That's all you have to do.'

Finally, after five minues of arguing whether to stop or continue for some weird reason, he decided to go start making dinner. Just to end the discussion in his _own_ head, for crying out loud.

'I mean, fighting with Mac and having 'did not-did too' conversations with little AJ is bad enough.' He thought as he sorted the ingrediënts.

When he was finished with that, he decided to go and see if maybe Mattie was finished with her homework and forgot he needed a hand. After he knocked four times, and started to leave, Mattie opened the door, _after_ saying "No Harm, I'm not finished yet!"

"How did you know it was me?" Harm asked surprised.

"I'm a woman, I know these things. It's called 'woman intuïtion." She answered with a grin.

"No, you're not a woman, you're a girl. You can't just open the door like that. What if your 'super-woman intuïsion' was wrong and it wasn't me, but a stranger? We've been over this a thousand times; you have to use the peephole before you open the door" Harm exclaimed.

"And I did that too. Like I would've told you if you'd let me finished,' she added with the grin still wide and bright.

"You're the reason I'll die before I'm fifty," Harm mumbled.

"I can't be _that_ bad. No one can finish the great Harmon Rabb Jr. of in half a year," Mattie teased.

"Half a year? Matilda Grace, I'm gonna get you for that!" Harm said as he walked to the door.

"Not a chance," Mattie chuckeld, while closing the door.

"Mats, you're mean!" Harm exclaimed lauging.

"I know! Mattie called back. "But the sooner you let me do my homework, the sooner I'm finished and the sooner I can come and help. Do I always have to be the responsible one?"

Harm knew she was right, so he returned to his own apartment. Opening the door he heard the phone ring and sprinted to pick it up.

"Rabb" he said into the phone.

"Uhm, Harm... you sound a little out of breath. Did I interupt something?" Mac's voice sounded.

"No, Mac, you didn't. I had to run to catch the phone, 'cause I was at Matties, actually coming back from Matties. But, nevermind. Why did you call?" He rambled while thinking 'Two _normal_ sentences would be a good idea, Rabb, instead of this bull.'

"I called about the Coön case." Mac said. "Did you get a change to look it through yet?"

"Uhm, no, I'm sorry." He apoligized. "I was about to a little while ago, but I was interrupted." 'Yeah, by your own mind. Good going Rabb.'

Fortunately, Mac didn't push him, so he didn't have to explain. Thank God. "Oh, nevermind then I guess. Do you have a chance to read through it before Thursday?"

Harm thought about that, but spaced out on her, returning to his discussion of the names.

"Harm, are you still there?" Mac asked after almost half a minute of silence.

"Uhm... Porter?... What do you... Oh, yeah Mac, I'm still here, he paced in again.

"Who's Porter? Mac asked suspiciously.

"Porter? Oh, crap, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, you did actually."

"I... uh... I... I was looking through the newspaper while talking to you and I saw the name Porter, Micheal Porter to be exact. He saved some cat or something." Harm tried to 'explain'. Okay, lie himself out of it.

"Okay, if you say so," Mac answered, still suspicious. "But could you please take a look at the case before Thursday so we can go through it?"

"Yeah, of course I can. I'll find some time to look it over."

"Before Thursday." Mac confirmed.

"Jups, before Thursday," Harm replied. "You got it."

Mac stayed silent for a moment. "Harm?"

"Yeah Mac?"

"Did you just say 'jups'?" She asked with a small giggle.

"I guess I did, didn't I?" Harm answered with a sheepish grin. "Must have picked it up from Mats, don't you think?"

"I don't think, I know." Mac grinned. "Anyway, see you tommorrow."

"Bye," Harm said, and hung up the phone. 'And now dinner.'

Finally he started to make dinner. Whe he put everything in the oven, he picked up the casefile again. He started to look it over, and when the timer rang, he was just finished. He turned down the oven and went to get Mattie. They had a nice dinner and talked about the things they had to do the following week.

"But now I have to go back to my homework," Mattie said as she stood up.

"Aren't you even gonna help me with the dishes?" Harm asked.

"Nope." Mattie answered. "But I only got French Literature left, so I'll be right back."

Harm gave her a look.

"I'm sorry, but if I don't phone my notes over to Susan, she'll fail the test about it. Sorry!"

Mattie went back to her apartment, and Harm started to do the dishes by himself. When he was finished, and Mattie still hadn't returned he went to Jen & Mattie's appartment. Jen opened the door.

"Hello Commander." She said.

"Jen, I've told you; call me Harm outside the office."

"Yes Sir." She answered.

Harm send her a playfull glare.

"Oh, sorry." She said grinning. "Okay _Harm_." She emphasized

"Thank you." Harm said. "How was your evening?"

"Oh, it was fun. A couple of old friend from the academy and I went to the movies, and after that we got dinner someplace. It was really nice to speak with them again." She told him. "By the way, Mattie's on the phone."

"I already thought so. I'll go see if I can save the phonebill." He walked to Matties bedroom, while Jen lauged. As he neared the door he could hear Mattie speak into the phone.

"No, he kidnapped her son. ... Because he was in love with her. Uhuh, her husband was dead ... No, that was his father. ... Yes, the son of the dead one. ... His brother. ... Okay, see you tommorrow. ... Bye!"

'So much for French Literature,' he though, and stepped into the room. "Mattie! I thought you were doing your homework, not explaining some soap to a friend over the phone. You said you only had to give your notes over the phone," He said.

"I did!" She exclaimed.

"Don't lie to me young lady, I heard the whole thing. That wasn't schoolwork. You just explained a whole soap storyline. He's in love with her, she is married to someone who's dead, so he kidnaps her son… That's daily on television."

"Yes it is and guess what I learned today at French literature. Soaps are related to classic literature. Like Andromaque. Which I just explained to Jeanie on the phone. Here are my notes and my homework. It's finished, you can check it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to watch my daily soap," Mattie explained, handed over her homework and went to the living room. Leaving a bewildered Harm behind.

**THE END**

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Uploaded on 28-12-2005  
© Charming Roses Corporations


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